Don’t Skinny Dip in the DarK


  I have a weakness, and if my mother knew of my secret, and was alive today, she would give me one of those “looks.”  You know the one…in one glance she relays, via MSP (mothers sensory perception), that I was old enough to know better.  So every summer I ignore her little voice in my head telling  me that she is disappointed in me, and I skinny dip.  Please trust me when I tell you that it is pitch dark outside,and the pool is in my back yard.  I have taught my daughters the fine art of skinny dipping too, because for just a short time we feel free and just a little naughty.  I have gone through life following all of the rules, and have always been a “good girl”, so this it big for me.   When it gets dark enough I will sneak off to the back yard, still in my suit, and climb in the pool.  Feeling like I am on a secret mission, I will look all around me to be sure the neighbors are all tucked in for the night and quietly slip off the suit.   I have found out that it is best to keep the suit within arms reach, because one night my neighbor turned on his garage light, leaving me bathed in bright light.  The problem was that my suit had fallen to the ground and I couldn’t reach it without getting out.  I felt like I was destined to spend the night in the pool, and kept hearing Marilyn’s voice telling me “See, I told you so!”  Just as I was morphing into a full body wrinkle,  he turned off the light, and I got out of that pool faster than…..well lets just say FAST!

    One eventful evening, my oldest daughter and I decided to go out and hop into the pool after dark.  I had been a terribly hot day, and we needed to cool off.  I had this great idea, after a few glasses of wine, that we should shed the suits because it was dark out and we were safe.  I went in first, and took my suit off.  I quietly and slowly made my way to the far side of the pool so she could take off her suit without a spectator (we do have some social graces for petes sake).  I was feeling my way to the opposite side, when my hand grazed something floating in the pool.  It was about 10 inches long and firm.  Of course I can’t see a thing, so I push down on it, thinking it is a noodle or some other pool toy left floating on the water.  As the object came back up to the surface, it felt as if hair had hit my arm.  At this point I knew it wasn’t a pool toy or a noodle, and I screamed, and booked it over to the ladder as fast as I could possible go through 5 feet of water.  My daughter was just getting into the pool when she witnessed my coming at her, suit-less, arms held high in the air,  and screaming like a banshee.  I politely shoved her up and over the ladder, and I proceeded to  set a new world record for getting out of a pool stark naked. At that point I could not have cared less if there was a street light shining on my plump behind.  I was going to put as much distance between that floating lump of fur and me.  We  then turned on the light and discovered it was a squirrel that had probably fallen from the tree into the pool.  That thing must have been in there paddling for all it was worth for a long time before he finally gave up the ghost.  Or else he got a shot of me and had a heart attack on the spot….we will never know I guess. I have not skinny dipped since the day I swam with the squirrel and probably never will again.  So kids….always listen to your mother, for she knows best ♥