Help Me, My Hearts Broken



 My heart is broken…’s hurting….I don’t know what to do……I don’t know what to say….my good friend is going through a break up and I don’t know what to do.  What are the right words to say, what can I do to ease her pain?  Not too long ago I was in her position, and my heart was broken in what I felt was a million tiny pieces?  You know that feeling when there seems to be darkness surrounding you, and no matter how hard you try you can’t stop crying.  Friends and family surround you and try to make you feel better.  You pull yourself out of bed day after day thinking “today will be the day that the sun will shine on my soul.”  You pray to God to give you peace, and to let some happiness return into your life.  It is the time in your life where you start questioning God, if He is in your life.  “Why did this happen to me?”  “Why can’t I find a happy relationship like those who seem to be all around me?”  “What could I have done to make him want to stay with me?” “How could he have done this to me?”  Of course these same questions go for both sexes after a break up, but the women appear to suffer more.

After taking 2 years to recover (almost fully), I feel I am almost an expert at what to say to my friend, but she is not at a point to hear my words.  This is the point where we just need to sit and listen and let her talk.  Sometimes a person just needs to talk it out without anyone judging or adding unneeded advice.  I had such a wonderful support system that I knew I was going to be ok.   At some point she will realize that God does have a grand plan, and that this heartbreak will at some point pass and there will be someone even better put into her life.  Eventually the pain will subside and the light will again shine on her soul and her heart will begin healing.  That person who has hurt her so badly will begin to fade from her memory and she will begin to forget the pain, while remembering the good times without sadness.  Slowly that heavy weight that is pressing down on her chest will begin easing up and the smiles will come easier.    Those around her will still love her, and the day will come when Gods true plan will be revealed.  At that point we who have been hurt to our core will be able to realize that those heartbreaks were just a stepping stone to something much better.  So my friend, I am here if at any time you just need to talk.  Please realize that you deserve better, even though you may not realize it yet.  If a person disrespects you, then they need to “push on” down the road.  They are simply not worth it, and deserve no place in your life.  I had to learn to just sit quietly and do nothing….just sit quietly.  It is amazing what that does for you, because you are able to sort so many things out and put them in order.  I will admit that I went to counseling for 6 weeks after my breakup because I just couldn’t make sense of anything.  In 6 short weeks the wonderful counselor I saw was able to put things in order for me.  One of  the best thing she recommended was for me to listen to “Letting Go” by Joe Cocker.  Yes, my friend, the time will come for “letting go,” and when that time comes the sun will shine again.  Moving on can indeed be a good thing, I promise!   I love you my friend ♥


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