Stick a fork in me, I’M DONE!

I had finally reached the end of my 6 month internet dating adventure .  I had joined 3 free websites and one in which you had to pay.  It’s not that I was really picky…they needed to have a car, have a job, have some teeth, be kind and still  be breathing.  One guy said that only thin athletic women should contact him.  Now, if I was thin and athletic, I knew he wouldn’t be for me because there wouldn’t be room in the car for both of us plus his over inflated ego. Really?  Come on!    I had met one man, out of all of the prospective men that had contacted me, that I actually  wanted to go on a date with.  We could talk for hours on the phone, and I really enjoyed his company.  We seemed to never run out of things to say and talk about.  I was the happiest I had been in a long time, while getting to know him.  There was something to look forward to besides work, children, housework, bills, and lonely Friday nights.  I found I had trouble sleeping and my appetite had gone out the window (not a bad thing in my case).  I had been hooked, and we hadn’t even met in person yet.  I felt like I was a teenager again.  The problem was that now I was a grown adult in my 50’s with the same fears and worries I had when I was a teenager. Plus I hadn’t been on a real date since I was 19 years old.  Would he like me?  Would we have a good time?  What does he expect from me?  Would we have some chemistry? Could I find enough spackling paste  to fill in the wrinkles under me eyes before the date?

We met, had  a nice time, but sorry to report it didn’t work out as planned.  I know now that I don’t do well under pressure, and I was trying to be someone who I was not, instead of being myself.  My adventure had come to a screeching halt.  In discussing what to do next with my oldest daughter, she  told me that when the day comes that a man leaves my life and I can say “Screw you, your loss dude”,  I will know that I am truly ready to date.  When did this child of mine grow to be so wise, and loving enough to give her momma advice that her momma had given her not so long ago?  At this point I am taking a year off, gonna write my blogs, and no longer be on the elusive search for “the one”.  When God thinks I am ready, he will put a wonderful, patient and loving man into my life.  And if that day doesn’t come, I will still be able to reflect on the many many blessings that He has give me.  Plus, you never know what  new adventure I will stumble onto tomorrow??????

Addendum and confession….2 of my friends recently met men that they really liked on one of the free websites, so I had a weak moment a few weeks ago  and put a new profile up.  I got a reply within an hour.  It was a 38 year old man who was 6’2″, blonde hair, blue eyes, had job and owned his own car.  He said he thought I was a beautiful “older” woman, and always wanted to “be with” an older woman, and would I be interested?’  My goodness….that one made me blush…..but “No thank you”………….delete……..and cancel………….

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One response to “Stick a fork in me, I’M DONE!

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