Am I on Candid Camera?

After my disaster with the water slide I decided maybe the lazy river would be safer and more age appropriate.  I forgot to mention earlier that I was sporting a new black swimdress with little white polka dots, to which the kids announced that I resembled Ursula the sea witch from Little Mermaid….(google it if you want a chuckle)  So I meander over to claim a medium-sized inner tube, flop gracefully on my belly and proceed to let the gentle motion on the lazy river push me along.  I noticed that there was a female lifeguard  watching over the lazy tubers and I said hello when I went by. ( Actually I think she was watching for another swimdress malfunction.)   I passed several times and was beginning to forget my horror at my nephews having possible post traumatic stress syndrome from seeing my lady part.  The next time I was coming near the lifeguard I noticed that they had switched posts and now it was that cute guy who sent me down the water slide, in charge of watching the tubers.   Not knowing for sure if he saw my disastrous landing at the bottom of the slide  I nudged my tube near the far side of the lazy river wall so I could just quietly pass by.  Well, well, well…..I didn’t realize that the motions of the lazy river are caused by tiny but very powerful  jets strategically placed along the walls….and as I floated by on my tummy, the jet literally peeled the bottom of my swimsuit off my right biscuit exposing the whole enchilada and pushed my swimdress up towards my back.  All I could do it just lay there and quietly float past him in horror.  You know, he had the same look on his face as my nephews……hmmmmm…….

Tomorrow the finale of The Forgettable Christmas….the wave pool!


12 responses to “Am I on Candid Camera?

  1. omg, Shelly I am laughing with tears in my eyes…..I agree with Dori, I think you should stay away from water parks….LOL…..that is why I want to get my own pool!
    Love your stories….you make me laugh!

  2. Shelly you made my day couldn’t stop laughing. I want to go with you to the water park next
    time looks like i’m missing out on a lot of good times. Phyllis

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